simplyenjoy


Growing, at any rate.
November 30, 2011, 10:20 pm
Filed under: Behavior, Mind, Uncategorized

Oh, life. Such a funny, funny four letter word. With 2011 winding to a close I’m feeling a bit retrospective about all the ups and the downs in it. I’ve met so many new people this year and made connections to old friends and new ones. I’ve gotten to know people on different levels. I’ve grown emotionally closer to some and farther from some. My family has a close friend who is famous for telling it like it is in the most funny and unoffensive ways. “Not everyone’s going to like you in life. And you’re not going to like everyone either,” he told me once. “That’s the way it is. But there’s only one of you and that’s what it is. Everybody doesn’t have to like you and you don’t need to make them like you and that’s OK. You don’t have to like everyone either. You got to act in love and be kind. But you do not have to like them.”

Those were some very freeing words for me at the time. They still are looking back on them. I like settling into that moment when I find my own fragile ego at odds with another in the course of any given day. That’s one lesson learned this year. You are not going to like everyone. I’m a pretty optimistic person, but even I realize the certainty of this statement. Some people will rub you the wrong way. So you best develop some thicker skin or a more flexible attitude. Unfortunately, we don’t always do that, because it’s always the other person’s fault, right? hehe

Even when we don’t like someone, you have to admit they’re a person, just like you. Working with children is an amazing gift because one gets to see their individual personalities blossoming over time. Teachers, parents and caregivers have the hefty job of not only teaching the books, but guiding children toward a better understanding of their personal strengths. Some children have behaviors that can easily wear on nerves, especially if those nerves are already thin to start. But anxious and emotionally-charged reactions from adults can act to erode children’s developing self-esteem and complicate the issues. Children with grating behaviors begin looking less like children to caregivers and more like a bundle of behaviors and issues to be handled. It’s important to understand (or attempt to understand) that they all have a source. When we begin looking at children and even some perplexing adults as merely reacting from their source stimuli we can better understand why certain behaviors occur.

Kid who talks too much in class? Maybe they have a career in politics. The class clown could be on his way to a job in theater or stand-up comedy. I’ve worked with kids who are amazing negotiators or attempted manipulating arguments. Yep, there’s a future lawyer or salesperson in there.

Even in our job interviews we are trained to list our weaknesses and turn them into strengths. So it is with children. We ought to see the strength that is in their weakness, especially for those kids who need tremendous behavioral support. Those are the ones at risk to themselves and to their families and communities.

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4 Comments so far
Leave a comment

I like this Tepha, I like it a lot!!!
You are such a special gal!!

Comment by Becky

Thanks for reading, Becky! Miss you a lot already. It was good to see you earlier this month… maybe it will happen again near Christmas! xx

Comment by simplyenjoy

I LOVE this post! Thanks for the shout out.
hi ya Becky!

Comment by brynbeary

Pops is proud of his girl. the Apostle Paul says we should think on that which is good. Philippians 4:8
Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

Comment by Pops




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