Anybody listening?

Listen up!

Ever have that awesome sense of feeling understood or accepted by another person? It’s most likely because this person was truly listening and privy to the characteristics and thoughtful habits and results of lending an ear.

Ever feel dismissed and rejected on the regular in a working or personal relationship? You were probably communicating with a distracted individual. Perhaps you were striving to achieve insight from a person who simply does not know how to listen or someone who was simply too busy with their own “stuff” to know how to listen or understand the value of listening.

Being continuously subjected to poor listeners can leave us feeling low, neglected and unappreciated especially if these poor listeners are people we are close to or have to see every day (family members, supervisors, teachers, coworkers or maybe even spouses.)

Why is listening so significant?

“From my personal experience, it’s easy for me to think of times when I didn’t sense real listening.  This triggers all kinds of insecurities for me:  Do I matter?  Am I included? Do I have a voice?  As a somewhat introverted person,  I’ve often felt like an outsider.  But when someone really listens to me, I can FEEL the connection.  I suspect listening meets many of our basic human needs:

First, good listening is a gift that touches a core need for significance.  When people listen to us, they give us time.  They don’t “take time” to listen, they give it.  This sends us a primal signal:  I matter.

Second, when a leader listens, we feel belonging – which is one of the most powerful human motivators.  Literally, when we “feel listened to,” we have a “seat at the table.” We are part of the group — and when it’s the leader listening, we’re part of the leader’s group.  We’re in.

Feeling heard activates a third basic human need: accomplishment.  We have a voice.  We have a chance to contribute.  We’re part of the solution.” – Excerpt from Listening Leaders

(Courtesy of Google images.)


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